Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women

Why can Valentine's Day be a bummer" for both men and women?

How many of you have experienced a Valentines Day that was a total “bummer”? You may not have had a special love in your life to celebrate with or…your special someone just did not seem to produce the romance you expected and dreamed of. I bet every one of us have had at least one year like this!

In the past year I have been involved in a extensive, life changing education from PAX, Inc (see affiliates link for more info). This course of study is designed for us to unravel the mysteries between men and women and illuminate or genetic gender differences. Instead of frustration and adversarial relationships, when we have understanding, then possibility of partnership is present! This is what I’ve learned about men and Valentines Day from ‘Shero” Alison Armstrong – founder of PAX. Inc. Ready? Men love to romance us and…they really want to win at making us happy! They really do. That’s what makes them tick- making us happy! If men are charmed, enchanted and in love, they try and show this all year long. On Valentines Day, they have to produce this amazing result called Romance (measured next to our wildest dreams)…on demand! That puts men under incredible stress. And…when they don’t’ deliver the perfect romantic day, evening, present, chocolates, flowers or whatever dreams may be, then they feel they have failed at producing the result. They hate this!

Here’s what I’ve done in the past couple of years that has really worked! I’ve been thrilled, surprised and…my husband has had the opportunity to be romantic spontaneously. It’s been a great win- win.

First, I set my husband Mark up to win, not fail. I will ask him weeks in advance what he’d like to do for Valentines Day. I may even give him a few ideas. All men want to get it right and provide for us. By providing opportunities for Mark to win, he has been thrilled. Last year was the best ever! I chose to take the heat off of him and plan our romantic date. He loves it when I do that. He get’s to provide (pay for the evening) and I’ve done some of the “dreamwork” for him. I planned an evening at the Symphony that was actually on the 16^th instead of 14^th. He knew that he was “covered”, if you will, and he was then able to be spontaneous on Valentines Day. And…he delivered. We were both happy! He scored points (in more ways than one;) on both days. This year we have similar plans for a fabulous Romantic date the week of Valentines Day. Of course, I’ll still surprise him with a little something early on the 14^th, to tickle his memory, and allow him to be “spontaneous”, yet if he doesn’t, I know… and he knows we have a romantic date all set up.

And remember, if you don’t have a sweetheart, I’ve found that calling my dearest girlfriends long distance, or going to lunch with those at home, has filled with tremendous love!

So, here’s to a fabulous Valentines Day for you.